thrill or skill


A woman i was dating asked me what i did for a living: i told her it was easier to just show her:

We were leaving a rock festival in Santa Barbara:

the traffic was slow for everyone leaving.

I asked her watch the people in cars leaving,  she noticed that everyone was happy.

I asked her to point out the first car where they did not look happy.

the first car i asked them:     "you look a little sad"

they said :    "yes,     the concert was great,  but now it is over.

then i had her and i tell them,   over and over :

"the festival is not over,   it is  moving to your house"

We did this until they were laughing.

then when they were laughing  for a while,  i said:  "you seem happy now,  but is this happy feeling stable:

they responded:    Probably notl

Then i asked them    "Was  the gathering ("lightning in a bottle")    a  thrill or a skill?         they said it was a thrill.     Then I asked  "What were the thrills,   what did you learn?    What was the culture you  felt.     What  Skills would you need to grow so that the thrill would stay with you forever and grow?

Then we would let them explain everything that they had felt,  almost learned,  and the skills that they could grow in their home.         

Then we would both just smile and let them laugh until they all tried to make out with us

We did this with 11 cars.

We became a couple for 2 years

I made up the   "skill,   thrill, "   thing  on the spot

When she said that she wanted to drive home with me,  and never leave,  she told me she wanted to learn how to read a map:   She had tried for 4 years and could never learn:          

I told her i would teach her to read a map, without ever reading a map;;

I had her drive around  5 streets in  Malibu,   and draw her own map,  them 10 streets,   after  two hours she could draw maps that looked just like google maps.          I did not "thrill her"   by  showing her tricks to  "sort of "  be able to read a map.          I skilled her.      

In professional mediation, I ask clients if they want me to thrill them (with a fast resolution)

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or Skill them (and teach them how to argue with class and a sense of humor and direction

Be more evolved:       always choose what is best for you and your client,  you can

1    Thrill the client,   (give them a fast resolution),  dont skill them   or

2    thrill the client to get the ball rolling,   and then   Skill them

3     you can skip the thrill,   and just skill them.      but usually it is better to thrill them to get the ball rolling,  and then skill them

I tried to make "thrill or skill" look easy: now let me show you how amazing it gets with a live seminar.


call me, Don at 310 454 7401

For more motivational speaking info,    hit this  website:     Don Metzger Motivatioal Speaking .com.




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